My Body, My Life, My Joy... All mine

Excerpts from my interview with Sunday's Zaman, 18.12.2011

Exhibition: In the State of Ecstasy

The struggle and obligation for women to prove themselves all through their lives comes with an enormous psychological and physical load, a load that is hard to carry. Honestly, most of the time I wonder how we bear it. In the past, I have taken part in shows both in New York and Istanbul concentrating on similar issues: womanhood, bodies and reproduction, and psychological reflections of being female. 

In this exhibition, however, I wanted to celebrate the female energy and power. Only by emphasizing the importance of empowering the female population, we can overcome some of the problems. 

To read the full article: https://www.ozlempaker.com/publications

On dancing...

The only essential philosophical question that we can ask is: "Why am I not joyfully dancing right now?"

~Nietzsche 

Exactly! I keep asking the same question almost everyday, and I have different answers, or excuses let's say. I always felt that the only thing that would make me whole is to dance freely, cause I feel like flying while dancing. Every cell of my body sizzles with pleasure while I'm moving with music or any tune. It's a shame that I'm not a professional dancer and that I have to fill my days with many other things. Whereas I used to dance all the time when I was little... perhaps my memories of an earlier lifetime were more pristine then. I somehow feel a connection to Isadora Duncan, as surreal as it sounds, I have the vision of the same flying posture as hers. Anytime I imagine myself dancing, I see myself flying in the air with open arms and legs, head leaning backwards. She had died at the age of 50 when her long flowing scarf got caught in the rear axel of her car. Is it a coincidence that I always have neck problems and neck-hernia?! 10 years ago, a doctor had asked me, if I had any car accident? "Not that I know of" I had answered. 

Regression therapists say that past-life traumas can effect one's health in a later lifetime. If you have chronic health problems without any reason and if doctors can not find a solution, it may be because of the past experiences. As someone gone through hypnosis, I will tell you more later on my own past-lives. Anyhow, I am still trying to push my schedule to fit a 1-hour dance lesson per week, but it's not enough. Am I still hoping to be a full-time dancer one day? Maybe, who knows. Why is life pushing us to be unhappy, joyless, danceless, laughterless creatures? Why do we feel ashamed to be happy when majority of the world suffers? Do we also suffer? Or can we and should we forget the delusional world order? Can we solely concentrate on cosmic order? Yes, this is my paradox... there is the answer: because of this paradox, we can't just get up and dance! 

Dear mothers and fathers, hear me out! Let your kids just be... Discover the real urge in them, and then encourage them. You wouldn't want to be blamed one day for their dissatisfaction in their professions or lives. After all, all of us are here only temporarily!

Always best DANCE performances at the JOYCE Theater

Every time, I'm in New York, I try to schedule a dance performance either at Joyce or BAM. This time, I had only 10 days to pick one up. So luckily, I found a seat for the saturday night performance to the Complexions Contemporary Ballet. It's a ballet company that combines the modern ballet with contemporary dance. Part 1 started with Moon Over Jupiter taking shape over Rachmaninov’s score. A piece about momentum and dynamics, all the Complexion dancers showcased an extremely  unique talent and technique. 

Part 2 was On Holiday danced by four couples expressing 4 stages of love, including love-hate relationship. Each couple embodied the lyrics of Billie Holiday. The show continued with a fun and lively Moody Booty Blues where the dancers danced with grounded movement and soulful rhythm. Next one was Rise, which was choreographed to various songs by U2, opens with the song 'The Streets Have No Name' and one man running in the spotlight. High impact choreography plus high impact songs with strong words and music. So far, the show was amazing and over-over-satisfying for me. All the performers were well-muscled and well-trained displaying their enjoyment of pushing the physical boundaries. They move flawlessly and dynamically; and the choreography was full of complexity, showing the amazing talent of Dwight Rhoden.

I kept watching all the acts, with only 1 intermission, in a dreamlike state until I was caught by surprise with the sound of a mevlut... very familiar type of a muslim prayer in combination with musical tune. This one was performed by a very soft and skilled voice. So, the act Mercy starts with 'eşhedü en la ilahe illallah...'. Male and female dancers enter the stage, moving individually, expressing a sense of balance and serenity. Women have white strapless bodysuits on; men have nothing on their gorgeous torsos, only fluid white transparent pants below. What a scene: such extreme beauty and such an unexpected sound. I couldn't stop thinking 'what a paradox: Here in the States, one can watch almost naked bodies moving in harmony with a prayer and admire the creation of human body capable of shaping itself in amazing ways. Whereas, in Muslim countries it would be considered an attack to holy religion where naked bodies considered sinful let alone dancing to prayers. It wouldn't be illegal but I'm sure some groups would do anything to stop such an artform.

The act continued with christian chants and gospels. To my surprise, during these sounds, the choreography reflected an inner fight, fear, oppression and invocation. Towards the end, I could feel the loss of self-value and meaning, alienation towards concepts of existence. In total, it was a very powerful, joyful and dynamic performance. Once again: 'dancing is free-flying'... If only we could have wings!!!

www.complexionsdance.org

When the Many are reduced to One, to what is the One reduced ?

When the Many are reduced to One, to what is the One reduced ?

~ Zen Koan      

BREATH ...

This weekend, I learned how to breathe... the real breathing though, the transforming one, the one that creates life between birth and death. A 3-day seminar... for me a real camp... a camp where I could just be with myself, and dive into myself... With many others but alone... I contemplated for wholeness, and wished just to be, only to be.

What a tranquil, what a serene state it was. Reaching the universal consciousness is possible just by breathing right. I had experienced re-birth when I had my son in my arms 5 years ago. And I had the 3rd one the last day of the seminar, last Sunday. I've always been in touch with my inner voice; however, to travel to my core (öz) was definitely this one.

Now, I am completely aware that I'm a being who emits vibration and light. I know that it will take time and practice to internalize all of this, but now I know why I'm here, why I'm as I am, and why everything is as they are supposed to be. I owe all of it to my guides of transformational breathing: www.transformationalbreath.com

thus spoke Oz !

Ozmology is a platform where I share my thoughts about various matters… Mostly commenting on issues that are bothersome to me, or hilariously ironic, or joyfully awesome. As many of us, I am trying to make sense of our existence and sharing my light about the cosmic order. I am not sure if my words are as strong as my art but nevertheless, when information comes to me to be shared, I can't hold still without sharing it. I know that I'm an intermediary soul to illuminate some others' paths which I did many times. Leave me a comment here if I touched your soul in a positive way, too.